A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A REVIEWER OF SEX TOYS – THE AFTERNOON

THE AFTERNOON

You take a look at your new adult sex toy(성인용품) package after lunch. You keep a close eye out for any indicators of shady shipment. When you see “SEX ADVENTURE GEAR” on the side of the box next to the company’s sexy-sounding name, you grimace. You’re hoping the mailman didn’t notice. When you open the package, though, all of that fades away, replaced by the wonderful adrenaline rush that comes with seeing new, fresh, attractive things.

You hold the different packages of dildos and vibrators for a few wonderful seconds before being jolted back to reality by a thread of floating cat hair gliding past your fingertip. You’re about to run out of time.

You dash to your wardrobe and grab your improvised photography lightbox. To find an appropriate backdrop, you rummage through piles of colored satin. You’re ready to start the race after plugging in your spot lights and setting up the lighbox on the couch. Your cat’s huge yellow eyes stare up at you, as if taunting you.

You hurriedly shoot those shots as if your life depended on it. Midway through, you notice that cat hair and dust have begun to collect on your new toys and stick to them. You quicken your steps, but it’s too late. You’ve been defeated. Your toy is strewn with fine black cat fur strands. Your pace slows, and loss is unavoidable. All you have to do now is clean it up in Photoshop for an hour. Your cat meows and smugly tries to get inside the photography lightbox.